Wednesday, 19 August 2009

A year since D Day

It's been over a month since our last blog entry. Since the last entry we've been on holiday to Wales for a week, laid a new patio, started a new football season, Steve's had his 52nd birthday, we went to see u2 and Elbow in concert at Wembley and we've passed August 13th which was Diagnosis Day (D Day) last year, 2008.

We can't believe a year has passed by so quickly and so much has happened, especially to Anita. The end of treatment brought relief, followed by much adjustment, especially for Anita. She has had moments of feeling low and we understand from our excellent practice nurses that this is normal and repeated by virtually everyone going through similar treatment.

Whilst we have known God close on the journey, nothing can prepare any of us for the variety of life issues and traumas that come along. We can only know the strength to face the day and trust that God will again ppick us up when we fall down.

The post treatment time seems to be when we fully face into what has happened and the implications of what has happened. We rationalize feelings by saying that whilst treatment has been tough and literally left it's scars, at least we have life and are together. I have noticed just how important self-esteem is, especially to a woman. As a husband I want to help nurture and re-develop what has been taken by finding ways to help Anita feel better about herself.

Today I have a prayer and study afternoon and have been praying much as I was back on D Day. I am reflecting on the promise from back then, "he will have no fear of bad news, his heart is steadfast; trusting in the Lord, his heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes."(from Psalm 112:7-8). In a sense our lives have appeared to contradict these words because we have had to deal with many fears - usually involving the thought of premature death and separation. As I think about it now, these words themselves have helped free us from fear and to actually experience the security the Psalmist speaks of.

Now we are praying for friends who remain in similar battles. . . . . .