Surgery imminent

Having had to postpone Anita's operation it is now due to take place in two days time. It's a challenge to deal with the thoughts surrounding what is going to happen and a big thing for Anita to face, both now and afterwards. It was shocking to read in today's newspaper about a 19 year old girl who has had a double mastectomy in a bid to prevent getting cancer because she is carrying the genes associated with breast cancer. As a man it is difficult to comprehend the effect on a woman's femininity and self-esteem when such an operation is needed.

Of course our hope is that such invasive surgery will clear any lurking pre-cancerous cells associated with the original discovery. Today is Wednesday and I (Steve) usually try to take Wednesday afternoon's to pray and read, setting time aside to seek God. I have to say this has been hard in recent weeks, not least because of relentless tiredness. Having said that, today has been good and I sense God has been speaking to me for the church as well as personally.

On a personal level I was reminded of the verse God gave me five minutes before I heard from Anita on August 13th 2008, diagnosis day. Psalm 112:7

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes."

The reality is that we have tasted fear and anxiety, and concern. God has given us feelings and emotions and our challenge has been to actually listen more carefully to God's promises and encouragements, often through a variety of His people. We are looking forward to the end of this particular chapter when we'll be able to look in triumph over cancer, sickness and even death. It's one thing having belief systems but quite another for these to be the experience of our hearts and minds.

Today we are grateful for:

• Relative peace ahead of Friday's surgery
• Not being alone in the journey - Anita had extensive text communication with a friend from church this morning which was just the right conversation at the right time
• A pleasant few days around the Easter holidays to catch up with jobs and enjoy the garden

Today we are praying for:

• Anita's health to be generally good ready for surgery and for freedom from any infection
• The surgeon to have great skill and insight - doing the best job humanly possible
• For Anita's time in hospital to be as good as it can possibly be